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EvangelistBee
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I had to write this. I had to say something about this. I am pleading that God will speak to someone’s heart. I hope God will encourage A MAN who will choose to do the right thing. The burden I intend to express here was based on three different events recently that made me to ask the question, “WHAT KIND OF MAN AM I?” I will only relate one of the events here.
My phone beeped. It was during my end of year retreat. I was rounding up the last lap of a prayer session and came to the phone. I picked up the phone and I read the text message that came in. It read, ”IF I DIE NOW, I THINK ITS BETTER THAN TO BECOME A MAD PERSON” Who chooses death on new year’s eve? Immediately, I looked for something to lean on. Nothing in my years of counseling and ministry has prepared me for the turn of events in the life of this young woman. She got married about two years ago to this seemingly wonderful God fearing man. So it seemed. She loved him. He treated her nicely - then. All was well till she got pregnant. The in-laws who also attends church (that’s the best way I can describe them) started offering her charms and other ”spiritual alternatives” to protect her from “ evil forces”.
Isa 31:1 Those who go to Egypt for help are doomed! They are relying on Egypt's vast military strength---horses, chariots, and soldiers. But they do not rely on the LORD, the holy God of Israel, or ask him for help. (GNB)
She was expecting her husband to stand up for her. He did not! She had the baby and due some strange reasons the baby is still not walking after a year. All throughout the 12 months of the baby’s life so far, she spent the better part of her married life resisting all forms of diabolical suggestions. The annoying part is that the Husband left her exposed. He was weak and she grew faint.
Pro 24:10 If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small.
Some weeks back, he left home. No one knew where He went to. He showed up days after and beat the wife to pulp and took the baby away - unfortunately laws protecting women are scarce and go unenforced in Africa. What kind of men do these? This was the background to the text I got. I was confused. I was far away. Even on the phone, I did not know what to say! My tongue was tied. My heart was heavy? Did she not know she was marrying a monster in the making then? For crying out loud, what man beats a woman? Your wife? What kind of man massages his ego by abusing his wife?
My first focus was to calm her down as she was all tears. You know the way a 3 year old cries when spanked – real sobbing. The unfortunate thing is that the first response she got from the only family member after four days of slipping in and out of consciousness with an hospital admission is that she was told to go and face it and fix it! How do you fix something with a man, a strange man that you don’t know where he is? How would a woman go back to a house and sleep peacefully when the man may show up again at anytime and exercise his boxing skills on her to assuage his excessive testerone levels? What will be the fate of the poor little baby caught in midst of this madness? I hear people saying woman are usually the cause. A woman can provoke and do whatever she likes – It is the man that chooses His response. The response cannot be beating her? It cannot be running away? Permanently? Excuse me – I am so…….
If this was a spiritual attack (as we are likely to quickly categorize things like this), how do you help a man who does not know/agree that he is on the borderline of madness and murder. You can’t help a man who does not want to be helped. Can you? Except pray! They don’t listen. Do they? Strange men indeed.
I had to write this. I had to say something about this. I am pleading that God will speak to someone’s heart. I hope God will encourage A MAN who will choose to do the right thing. The burden I intend to express here was based on three different events recently that made me to ask the question, “WHAT KIND OF MAN AM I?” I will only relate one of the events here.
My phone beeped. It was during my end of year retreat. I was rounding up the last lap of a prayer session and came to the phone. I picked up the phone and I read the text message that came in. It read, ”IF I DIE NOW, I THINK ITS BETTER THAN TO BECOME A MAD PERSON” Who chooses death on new year’s eve? Immediately, I looked for something to lean on. Nothing in my years of counseling and ministry has prepared me for the turn of events in the life of this young woman. She got married about two years ago to this seemingly wonderful God fearing man. So it seemed. She loved him. He treated her nicely - then. All was well till she got pregnant. The in-laws who also attends church (that’s the best way I can describe them) started offering her charms and other ”spiritual alternatives” to protect her from “ evil forces”.
Isa 31:1 Those who go to Egypt for help are doomed! They are relying on Egypt's vast military strength---horses, chariots, and soldiers. But they do not rely on the LORD, the holy God of Israel, or ask him for help. (GNB)
She was expecting her husband to stand up for her. He did not! She had the baby and due some strange reasons the baby is still not walking after a year. All throughout the 12 months of the baby’s life so far, she spent the better part of her married life resisting all forms of diabolical suggestions. The annoying part is that the Husband left her exposed. He was weak and she grew faint.
Pro 24:10 If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small.
Some weeks back, he left home. No one knew where He went to. He showed up days after and beat the wife to pulp and took the baby away - unfortunately laws protecting women are scarce and go unenforced in Africa. What kind of men do these? This was the background to the text I got. I was confused. I was far away. Even on the phone, I did not know what to say! My tongue was tied. My heart was heavy? Did she not know she was marrying a monster in the making then? For crying out loud, what man beats a woman? Your wife? What kind of man massages his ego by abusing his wife?
My first focus was to calm her down as she was all tears. You know the way a 3 year old cries when spanked – real sobbing. The unfortunate thing is that the first response she got from the only family member after four days of slipping in and out of consciousness with an hospital admission is that she was told to go and face it and fix it! How do you fix something with a man, a strange man that you don’t know where he is? How would a woman go back to a house and sleep peacefully when the man may show up again at anytime and exercise his boxing skills on her to assuage his excessive testerone levels? What will be the fate of the poor little baby caught in midst of this madness? I hear people saying woman are usually the cause. A woman can provoke and do whatever she likes – It is the man that chooses His response. The response cannot be beating her? It cannot be running away? Permanently? Excuse me – I am so…….
If this was a spiritual attack (as we are likely to quickly categorize things like this), how do you help a man who does not know/agree that he is on the borderline of madness and murder. You can’t help a man who does not want to be helped. Can you? Except pray! They don’t listen. Do they? Strange men indeed.
Another dimension is that this woman is still far less than thirty years old and she has already seen what some fifty year olds have never seen and may never see in their lifetime. Are you a single girl at thirty years old and in a hurry to tie someone down with sex and force him to marry you? Will it not be better to wait and double check his spirit, character and tendencies while you keep your thighs closed? Yes, you assess men better only when you zip up! I am sorry for being so vivid. What can I say? In my years of dealing with Single people, I know some things - Sex is not a synonym for commitment. Animals do it too. Any fool can do it! You cannot join them. Don’t be a statistic in two years time. Wake up!
Rev 3:6 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.
Let me go back to talk to men. Any man, I repeat, any man who lifts up his hand to hit a woman needs immediate help and could be a candidate for hell! What pleasure is derivable from such heartlessness and irresponsibility. For how long will our men run away? We run away from commitment? We run away from confronting what is confronting us? We run away from standing up and defending those we pledge to love for life. We run away from protecting? Why are we here then?
This is what Pastor E.A Adeboye said in his daily devotional about men and leaders on the 9th of January, 2010 –
“One commodity the world is in short supply of is good leaders. Even in families, they are needed. A family can be the smallest organization—comprising the husband and his wife. Yet, if the man lacks leadership skills to provide the required direction, guidance, coordination and control, it may be difficult for the family to realize its collective goal. Every organization is only as good as its leaders.”
How good are you? Whats the future of those relying on you as a Man.
REMINDERS FOR MEN
1. If you cannot defend her against all foes including your folks – DON’T MARRY HER! She is safer with her folks. If you are married and had left her exposed, start protecting her and do it now!
2. If you cannot stand your ground and say the truth to all the in-laws including yours, you are not ready for marriage – Let her be.
3. If you cannot lead and not ready to lead – please remain single.
4. What makes a man manly is not beating people but the ability to command respect without lifting a hand. Keep your hand in your pocket and stop all forms of abuse – physical, emotional and spiritual.
5. The worth of a man will always be measured by what He contributed, solved and gave – not what he grabbed and forcefully arrogated to himself.
6. The plan, purpose and call of God on your life as a man is sacrosanct and deep, let is not waste. Let it not be wasted- now nor ever.
Remember,
Jer 1:5 "Jeremiah, I am your Creator, and before you were born, I chose you to speak for me to the nations."
You are chosen and always know as said in Pro 25:28 - He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
Send these message to any man you care for to read and be challenged to make a difference and to protect the women that God has given to them – Mums, Wives, Sisters even Colleagues. Let’s stand up as Men and be counted.
That God will give us a man….. A man!
What kind of men are these? What kind of man are you? May God give us a burden to pray for men that will matter and stand to be counted as MEN – godly, self controlled and disciplined.
Eze 22:30 I looked for someone to defend the city and to protect it from my anger, as well as to stop me from destroying it. But I found no one.(CEV)
Don’t forget to encourage me with your thoughts, experience and comments by clicking the Comment" or "Post a Comment" Tab below.
Have a Great year.
EVANGELIST BEE.
Rev 3:6 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.
Let me go back to talk to men. Any man, I repeat, any man who lifts up his hand to hit a woman needs immediate help and could be a candidate for hell! What pleasure is derivable from such heartlessness and irresponsibility. For how long will our men run away? We run away from commitment? We run away from confronting what is confronting us? We run away from standing up and defending those we pledge to love for life. We run away from protecting? Why are we here then?
This is what Pastor E.A Adeboye said in his daily devotional about men and leaders on the 9th of January, 2010 –
“One commodity the world is in short supply of is good leaders. Even in families, they are needed. A family can be the smallest organization—comprising the husband and his wife. Yet, if the man lacks leadership skills to provide the required direction, guidance, coordination and control, it may be difficult for the family to realize its collective goal. Every organization is only as good as its leaders.”
How good are you? Whats the future of those relying on you as a Man.
REMINDERS FOR MEN
1. If you cannot defend her against all foes including your folks – DON’T MARRY HER! She is safer with her folks. If you are married and had left her exposed, start protecting her and do it now!
2. If you cannot stand your ground and say the truth to all the in-laws including yours, you are not ready for marriage – Let her be.
3. If you cannot lead and not ready to lead – please remain single.
4. What makes a man manly is not beating people but the ability to command respect without lifting a hand. Keep your hand in your pocket and stop all forms of abuse – physical, emotional and spiritual.
5. The worth of a man will always be measured by what He contributed, solved and gave – not what he grabbed and forcefully arrogated to himself.
6. The plan, purpose and call of God on your life as a man is sacrosanct and deep, let is not waste. Let it not be wasted- now nor ever.
Remember,
Jer 1:5 "Jeremiah, I am your Creator, and before you were born, I chose you to speak for me to the nations."
You are chosen and always know as said in Pro 25:28 - He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
Send these message to any man you care for to read and be challenged to make a difference and to protect the women that God has given to them – Mums, Wives, Sisters even Colleagues. Let’s stand up as Men and be counted.
That God will give us a man….. A man!
What kind of men are these? What kind of man are you? May God give us a burden to pray for men that will matter and stand to be counted as MEN – godly, self controlled and disciplined.
Eze 22:30 I looked for someone to defend the city and to protect it from my anger, as well as to stop me from destroying it. But I found no one.(CEV)
Don’t forget to encourage me with your thoughts, experience and comments by clicking the Comment" or "Post a Comment" Tab below.
Have a Great year.
EVANGELIST BEE.
No. 118 – 9th January 2010
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21 comments:
I commit sir to raise my level and be a Man that will make a difference.
What Kind of Man am I? Will spend the next weeks answering that question. Thank you once again for waking us up!
The Lord will Help your commitment - R.
Anon,
Its a question for life. May we all continue to be a positive difference in Jesus name.
EVB
In time pass i have also hear stories like this and i do ask myself,what changes MEN after the ceremony,even some acclaimed MEN OF GOD,and i begin to wonder,how best can our MEN be tested,because the truth is that,we all have this ladies around us our sisters,cousins,aunts even a friends and the joy of the ceremony is so overwhelming that you feel its going to be like that forever,i pray God empowers our men intellectually and spiritually to really be the MAN God wants them to be,you just nailed it!Bless you.
Amen Tee. Amen. Only God indeed can help out men to be what God has ordained them to be as they stand up to be counted.
God bless you for your contribution
EVB
Women aren't the only gems; men are precious too. If more men could realize their worth as God ordained leaders to their wives and children, and act accordingly, families and lives would be better. Enjoyed reading this.
Jess,
I cannot agree less. God will help the " upgraded gems" and the "endangered species" to REALIZE and take their place. God bless you and have a great week.
Thanks sir. Very thought provoking as usual. God bless your efforts.
Okafor
God bless you too and am glad you will be one of the Men that we have been looking out for - making a difference.
EVB
Great reads!
Ay,
I'm at work right now as I have read your most recent blogs. All I can say is that I was blessed indescribably!! The first one about what kind of man you are is something that I've been meditating on for a couple of weeks. It was encouragement to continue to strive for perfection in Christ Jesus! I want to be a person of impact in my ministry, my family, my community, my church, the nation, and the body of christ! I received a burden for seeing boys being brought into manhood a couple of summers ago. It was in 2008, that I realized that I didn't know what it meant to be a man. Even though I had an awesome example in my father, he was very busy and wasn't very intentional about training and teaching me and my brother. I grew hungry for a mentor and sought to rebuild a better relationship with my dad, I sought brotherly accountability. I also started an accountability group in our group but we lacked organization and so after about 8 months it started to fall apart.
I've decided in 2011 to focus more on the things that God has called me to and to focus more intensly on my purpose. In times past I just found it hard to say no to anyone becuase I wanted to help everyone and be a blessing to everyone.
I guess for me after reading the second blog about mummy EKA, I realized that helping those who you are called to help with yeild a greater impact on everyone else rather than trying to help everyone yourself. I guess another way to say it is "succeeding at impacting the lives that are given to you is better than failing at trying to impact everyone". After reading your blog, I now know what I would like in a mentor and how to pray about recieving one. It's a shame because mentorship and discipleship is something that is passed down. Only those that hae been mentored or discipled can show others how to do it correctly. These days a mentor is also becoming a rare commodity!
Anyways I don't know why I wrote all of this, I just wanted to drop by and say that your ministry has been a blessing! Be encouraged, for you will leave a mark on this earth that can not and will not be erased by the sands of time, in Jesus name!
God bless you sir,
Ay,
Whao ! I am so excited that I dont know what to write! Sincerely I am speechless.
1. It clear - something clicked in you. Its very easy to know when someone is touched. I pray it will last.
2. The way you articulated your thoughts also shows me that you understand what the issues are and the next plan of action for your life - God will see you through.
3. Never let go of a principle you mentioned now that to affect more - you have to create a channel. You cannot meet everybody's need alone. Deciphering who to focus on also sharpens you. God himself does not focus on everybody. He audits who He gives greater role and scope.
4. Thanks for encouraging me ! noted. Pls keep praying for focus and Unction
Love you Bro! Pls Be the Man - Be the Man
Pastor Banji,
Thanks for everything! God bless you! I will be the MAN God has called me to be...honestly, I can't leave myself any other option, I have no other choice!
God will continue to give you fresh revelation and the ability to remain relevant to the youth and singles, in Jesus name!
Thank you so much my dear brother. We thank God for bringing people like you to our life. The Lord will continue to use you greatly. You are gifted and annointed of the Lord
Am deeply humbled sister Lara. Your message was very timely. This message encourages me Sister Lara. Timely. I appreciate. Many more years of greatness coming your way and I pray that the men in Your life will be REAL MEN!
EVB
Happy new year to you Sir..
May God continue to increase you from grace to grace and from glory to glory to glory.. I was opportuned to read the article on 'MEN' on ur blog, all I can say is that it is simply outstanding..I learnt alot and hope to affect my generation positively..
Thank you Sir for being a voice worthy of emulation.
Thanks Kingsley. Am grateful. May God make you a Man amongst Men. EVB
Chinedu,
For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain(Phil 1:21).I have resolved to live a life of Christ in my Family,in my office,in my church,in my community, in my city,in my state,in my Nation (Nigeria) and in the world at large.
There is no doubt that in our course to do the right thing and remain perfect that we make mistake but instead of crying or feeling dejected we should rise up and walk the walk and be real men.
I am the man i am today partly because my father showed me the way to live as a man.My father,never raised his hand at my mother and never abused my mother in our home(at least not to our knowledge).Even when he was an unbeliever he never did anything to suggest that he was a bad father except for his heavy drinking.
Evangelist Bee, i am sure you would agree with me that women at times could make men feel very terrible about life so likewise for women but that not withstanding, no man has the right to beat his wife in the private or in the public.It is not right,not respectful and should be condemned by all.We as men, are custodians of the truth.We are expected to protect our wife,children and all that the Lord has kept in our care, lets do this honorably in humility and with total surrender to the Almighty and see how God will transform our families,communities,cities,Nationsand the world.
Thanks for the work you are doing and do let me know how i can support you and tour team.God bless you richly in Jesus name-Amen!
chinedu
I learnt some things from your comment
1. Being a Man that is responsible is a choice!
2. When a man falls, He should wake and with God's help and correction - move on
3. We should leave good examples for our children to follow.
4. We need God to help us keep our commitment.
I am inspired and grateful.
Thanks for the encouragement and support offered.
EVB
Great post, thanks for sharing.
Toyin,
Thanks Toyin - Checked your blog too - Great writes. Fresh oil to you Pen Sister
EVB
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