NO ONE SHOULD DIE THIS WAY! CYNTHIA JUST LEFT LIKE THAT!

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I knew from the next day I heard the story that I had to speak. I had to write. I don’t fear death and I don’t preach that people should fear death. I always admonish instead that you should prepare for death. It can come anytime, anywhere and anyhow. And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment-Hebrews 9:27. 

Cynthia Okorogu

However, I feel there are ways people should not die. It is called avoidable death. There are death stories that pains to the bones. Not just the case of who died but the hell on earth they went through before they died. Imagine if they were not prepared to meet their maker – that makes it worse.

It is too expensive. It is costly. You cannot afford it. I cannot afford it. Members of our families cannot afford it. It started out as a very small headline, "The Missing General's daughter body found in the mortuary". They were talking about Cynthia Osokogu, the young 24-year –old Post-graduate daughter of General Frank Osokogu (rtd). I did not get the import of the full story until the killers were interviewed. The confessions were chilling. It is like a tale from hell, from Zone reality or Crime Investigation Stories on Cable TV. My heart sank. Someone told me that it got to him so much that he refused to watch news for two days. I will spare you the gory details but need to recap some of the key points of the event to put my submissions in proper perspective. 

Cynthia met her assailants on face book – more like “death book” for her in retrospect.  Someone said her face book page had become the face of death. They chatted. No! For me they talked her into the den of the lion under the pretext of doing business with her. She flew to Lagos and these two demon possessed undergraduates boys picked her up at the airport. Yes – boys. Real men don’t maim and kill women. Real men don’t even hit women. They took her to a hotel, drugged her drink, raped her for over 12 hours and strangled her. They left and called the hotel to inform them that they have a dead body in one if their rooms. She was healthy. This was not a fight against cancer or malaria or AIDS. It was a fight against diseases and diseased people that have not been categorized in the annals of health history. These guys were serial poachers who had found the online community soft and easy to target the innocent. The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?-Jeremiah 17:9

My first thoughts were to the General and his family. It is very painful to outlive your children. No one wants to witness that. I have an idea how they would be feeling. You are not qualified to talk about pain except you have been there. Daughters are close to Fathers naturally. I don’t know the family but I don’t need to in order to assess their pain. I prayed for them this morning that the Holy Spirit will comfort them and quicken them. 

These things can happen anywhere. The issue is not “made in Africa”. It was made in hell and distributed by broken down family training and community responsibility. In the days gone, If Cynthia had come to town and missed her way, she could trust men, any man she never meets to protect her. That looked like centuries ago! Now, you dare not leave your pre teen daughter at the mercy of “Uncles” and even Grand Dads. Things are that broken down! Let no one profile Africa. It can happen anywhere and carries similar themes – trusting people when we should not, believing lies when sometimes it seems obvious or may be not that obvious. They have given people with such disposition a name. They call them “free spirits”- Anything goes! The world is a global village. A teenager once travelled across the Atlantic from U.S to Europe to meet a man the age of her dad she met online! So much of free spirit! Free Spirit my foot! What is free without being accountable? You are responsible for everything you do online. This borderless world is breeding a new generation of poachers and rogues. They are looking not only for your money and goods but your name, integrity and sometimes life! Protect yourself. We need to protect ourselves as best as we can. Our computers need anti-virus protection. Our cars need engine oil protection. Why not humans? Where does this free spirit theology come from? “But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way”-Mat 13:25. We have slept enough, it is time to wake up.

Respect online relationships

Let me put it this way-fear them. Treat every person you meet online for the first time who you don’t know in real life as a suspect. I am not kidding. Even when he is dressed in cassock or carries a big collar on his neck! Tread with more caution! Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world-1John 4:1.  Every new technology brings new set of ways for demons in human clothing to manifest. Chatting online!  Please don’t let me go there! In the early days of internet in Nigeria, I will go to the chat rooms to preach. One day, a lady showed up and gave me the highest spiritual CV you can boast of. I was caught in the “spiri” mood. Ye pa ri pa! Ori Iyami o! Don’t bother about the meaning – too complex to interpret. I was zealous about helping a “Sister to grow” until phone numbers exchanged hands. Ha! Error! The error was raised to power ten!  I quickly told my wife by the time I got the sixth call in two days to take over my counseling sessions. At least she was my helpmeet!  These poachers are so good at it – male or female. In 48 hours, my wife was getting swept off her feet too. I told her, we have to cut it off. She has never seen me fret like that at the time. I was scared to the bones. I could smell it. This cannot end well if it goes on. You don’t have to be able to put a finger on it. Once you see the red light, even amber light – stop it and flee. She was not looking for counseling! Don’t ask what I felt she was looking for. Use your sixth sensor. My wife was taken aback about my fears- she was sincere and open hearted but I felt she was naïve as at then. It is better to be safe than sorry. I learnt very early in life that there is a limit to how far my wife can help me - I will always be responsible for my actions. I had to do what was right. We stopped picking her calls. However for professional poachers, they will just see the attempt on me as one down, more to come and keep trying for new victims – “mumus” as they call them.

Check Basis for Trust

Everyone needs to seat down and evaluate their trust premise. On what basis should you entrust your money, relationship, property and ministry to anyone. People do change and anonymous people are devils until proven otherwise. Every relationship must be tested.  If the right parameters are used, after a while people’s true color will show. The few lousy times I have disobeyed this, I paid badly. It was costly. We have to take the decisions on the parameters to access relationships long before we face the situation. You need to have boundaries. 

I met a young woman from East Africa working with one of the airlines on one of my many trips over a decade ago. It was a casual “hello” friendship anytime I was on transit through her country. She must have met a lot of people like me every day with different experiences. She took her time to vet who I was and what I was interested in. Was it her life or death? Was it her joy or pain? She initially profiled me as one of the “walkabout” African men looking for anything to devour (sounds like the scriptural description of the enemy) - Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour-1Peter 5:8. She was doing a lot of things to test me and I did not know it was a test at the time. After a while I met her fiancé and he confessed that he was now sure after meeting me that the lady will marry him. I asked why? He said she talks so highly of me that she said she would not introduce anybody to me until she is sure he is the one she will marry. She tested me enough until she was sure I could become her mentor. I was at their wedding and was proud of her. She is wonderfully married with kids now. She met my family thereafter. Let us vet our relationships and friendships! Do it regularly. Anyone can fall prey of these people. It is just one moment of wrong judgment and that's it!

Ignore titles and Position

Forget about titles and the position they occupy in church or society. Be vigilant. Don’t go to sleep and pray that God help you to remain awake. The easiest way to defraud now is to flaunt the name of God and associated titles. In all my years of business, the people who are likely to default in payments and hope (or pray fervently) that you will forget are the very religious ones. No wonder, Jesus called them white washed tombs! The fact that He went to seminary does not make him impervious to temptation including the temptation to rape and maim. You don’t really know how vulnerable people are until they have the opportunity to mess up! You cannot control what they do but you can control how you respond and how you protect yourself. Even when they have big names, a lot of them do not have shame. 

They are shameless and their hands are not free from people’s blood! I believe another way to protect ourselves is to speak out. Speak! Confide in someone you trust. Talk to the person who will tell you the truth even if you will hit your head against the wall. The evil that these predators does thrive on secrecy! As far as you can keep it between “the two of you” they will keep pushing it! In medicine, the healing process for a wound starts by exposing it and cleaning it. It is time to open up and let the cleaning take place – cleaning of heart, cleaning of minds and cleaning of expectations. Confide in someone. There has to be someone! You – yes, I am speaking to you. Speak out now! Everyone around you cannot all be devils? Tell them about your new found relationship, business lead – someone’s antenna will pick something. Be it your Mum, friends, mentor or office colleague – speak out now. Someone’s radar and “Spirit-o-meter" will work. And when they smell it - respect their olfactory organ. Yours might have been killed with greed, fear and fake “love” (better known as lust).

I will conclude by sharing a story of my parents with you. Some years back my mum called me and told me to tell my Uncle in the U.S that she is still expecting the call he promised through his friend. My antenna rose up immediately. She had not even given me the details but I knew what it could mean. My Uncle! Have not called you? When did he promise to call? Why will he promise to call through a third party and not just call? I just started screaming, “hope you have not given anyone money?” She asked me to hear her out. I refused to chill. Answer me, Mum!  She confirmed that they had parted with money. Some guys called them telling them they are representing my Uncle and that they need some advance fee to process a contract in the state capital and my Uncle was going to call after. I told her, “Mum, you have just been taken to the cleaners” I advised they reported to the police but my Dad felt otherwise. I knew they would call back for more. Those guys don’t know the word called “enough”. Ask Cynthia! Sorry she is gone! They did call back for more and this time my Dad need no further prodding. He became Mr. James Bond, played along, reported to the Police and they were caught. The moral of the story is that my Uncle will never call or do anything with my Parents (as at that time) without telling me. The useless guys played on the human greed factor and tendency to keep our breakthroughs to ourselves.  Speak out – it always helps. Even if you feel the urge to keep your “breakthroughs”, let it be but please speak out!

If it is too simple or too easy – recheck it

Offers that promises ridiculous returns with little or no investment should be careful checked. Vet new friends before you commit deeply. Check and recheck – check! It is never too late to back out. Look for any excuse and if it fails - just flee.

The greatest commitment is for each and every one of us to be a solution and not part of the problem. Joshua made a resolve. “And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD” Joshua 24:15.

What’s your own resolve? 

Please share your experiences and thoughts through the comment button on the blog or via email.

The Lord keep you and all that is yours in Jesus Name. Amen

EVANGELIST BEE.

No. 130– 23rd September, 2012

www.evangelistbee.com

Banji Adesanmi writes a blog at www.evangelistbee.com as EVANGELIST BEE and can be reached at evangelistbee@gmail.com